You May Be Able to Buy Your Own Flowers, But Do You Really Want To?

Whether you love or hate the new Miley Cyrus song, "Flowers," it is hard to deny that it is catchy and currently popular, with the result that I have been frequently hearing the song as of late.  While it may have a distinct girl power vibe, I find the lyrics to be those of someone with a sad, lonely, and empty life.  The singer touts about being able to buy her own flowers, talk to herself for hours, and a number of other activities that are stereotypically done as a couple.  The underlying message that a woman does not need a man to do these things for her or with her is a valuable one.  On the other hand, I think there is a pervasive sense of aloneness which overshadows any message of independence.

Individual achievements find their greatest value celebrated within a community.

I understand the allure of being an independent person; I was extremely independent before I was injured and enjoyed having time to myself.  Even after my accident, I still need a certain amount of alone time.  Having to rely on others for most things in life has taught me to appreciate community more deeply.  I have come to realize that having people in your life that want to give to you, and to whom you wish to give to in return, is something to be cherished.  In writing this I thought back to the tulips my friend gave me for my birthday, the roses my mom gave me on the anniversary of my spinal cord injury (which occurs ten days later), as well as the potted plant a friend brought me when we caught up after several years of not seeing each other.  Each of these was given with care and intent, and as I looked upon them it was more than just their beauty I enjoyed.

A collection of some of the flowers which have been gifted to me, giving me a plethora of reasons to smile!

A truly successful life is marked by having one's accomplishments bolstered, supported, and cheered on by an abundant circle of family, friends, and colleagues. Individual achievements find their greatest value celebrated within a community. So yes, I could buy myself flowers and they would be enjoyed and beautiful, but these flowers that people have given me are accompanied by memories of why they sent them, or with thoughts of how their friendship has enriched my life. This makes the flowers that I do not buy mean that much more to me. While there is strength in being able to be independent from an unhealthy relationship, there is also value in learning how to lean upon others in your community. As flowers are inherently a superfluous commodity, being given a gesture of affection always enriches a person's life, and makes for a far fuller life than one in which each act and acquisition is accomplished in solidarity.