Who We Are Together

There are some people who bring out the best in those around them, and others who bring out the worst in their companions. My sister Soley brings out an entirely different Loa, who only exists in her presence. We have our shared interests that we delve deep into and get excited about; she manages to bring out a goofiness and lightheartedness in me that is a reflection of two of her own best qualities. Sometimes our mother makes fun of us for being a little bit strange when we are together, but I always counter with, "I love who we are together." And that is the crux of it: when we are together it is as though we morph into a new and unique combined identity that only emerges when we are in each other's company.

Who we are together, may be one of my favorite versions of myself.

I tend to be more reserved and serious by nature. My sense of humor favors dry wit and sarcasm, which is why it is great when Soley draws out other aspects of my personality. In fact, who we are together, may be one of my favorite versions of myself. There is a certain sense of liberation that accompanies being unhindered by censuring your behavior to fit one's audience and avoiding disapproval. After all, being considered "cool" and fitting in can be extremely hard work. Although, to give myself due credit, my reserved behavior is not necessarily derived from a desire to gain approval from the popular crowd, but more so from the fact that I am actually quite introverted. This surprises many people who regard me as relatively social, but in actuality that aspect of my personality is more the exception than the rule. I can be social when the mood strikes me, or the situation calls for it, but my default nature is quieter and more withdrawn; therefore, it is a healthy change of pace to be pulled out of my shell by my far more outgoing, social, and vivacious sister.

I could create a list of all the activities Soley and I enjoy doing together, which would be quite extensive, but it is not which activities we enjoy doing together that strikes me as significant, but the fact that there are certain activities we prefer to do in one another's company. One of these activities is shopping, which we frequently ask our mother to join in for a third opinion. We just really feel the need to have each other's opinion before committing to purchases. It is sort of a little bit of healthy codependence, in which we rely on one another to vet our decision-making process. Sometimes this works to promote savings, and sometimes to promote spending. It just depends on what we see and if the group collectively encourages or discourages purchases.

Another activity which is best done as a sisterly duo, and sometimes with the aid of our mom, especially when she brings additional essential perspective to the project, is decorating. Christmas and other holidays typically require a concerted effort, but general home decor changes we have found are best undertaken together. This year we were especially happy to be together, as both of us were making some big decisions by cutting down on some of the decorations in our extensive Christmas collections. When we are particularly excited about a new spin on things we call it "who we are today," and when we are tired of something and retire an item, it becomes something that is "no longer who we are." I know this sounds a little silly, but it is a lingo that we have developed for determining what stays and what goes in our lives, and how excited we are about these changes. This year the big cleanout involved designating certain things as "who we will never be again;" unsurprisingly, this means getting rid of things that were more useful and appropriate when we were younger. As you can see, "who we are together" is just a part of this larger decision-making language that we have adopted.

Sisters!

Sometimes there are people that you grow alongside, and certain habits, inside jokes, and uniquely personalized turns of phrase emerge without any discussion becoming necessary. If it is not obvious, Soley and I have a unique bond, it falls under the umbrella of sisterhood, but it has been made stronger by the hardships we have endured together. Mostly, it has been her supporting me through my unusual and challenging life, but it has gone both ways. Many of my blogs have emphasized the wonderful support network that I have around me, sometimes sharing a particular element from friends and family, but always serving as a reminder to me that I would not succeed in life as I have, without the support of this extensive network. This blog, however, is about a singularly important individual, not only in my own life, but in the lives of my larger support network. Soley has not only been a rock for me, but a rock for many of those around me. She is the person my parents and I all turn to when life gets difficult. Soley is the person who creates peace when there is discord, and she is the person who makes who we are together extra special. Soley, I love you. Thank you for making who we are together special!