The world is comprised of a myriad of people with a variety of unique personalities. Some people are open, warm, and welcoming whilst others are closed off, aloof, and skeptical. Of course, most fall somewhere in the spectrum between these two extremes. Much of my life was spent closer to the latter. I was not completely closed off, as there was a small inner circle of people that I opened up to, but for the most part I prided myself on being introverted and used that as an excuse to keep people at bay.
I cannot pinpoint any single one event which caused me to start to open up, though there may be a few circumstances which stand out above the rest as particularly impactful. Somewhere along the way I gradually began to realize that the more people open up, the more opportunities they have to let goodness into their lives. I know that much of this is tied into my accident and the way it changed my life. Being paralyzed from the neck down forced me to rely on others in a way that I had not previously done. However, my change in perspective is not quite so simple as being a consequence of my injury forcing and allowing me to regard relationships as beneficial.
For the most part I prided myself on being introverted and used that as an excuse to keep people at bay.
Many of the relationships and interactions that I have had in the twenty years since my injury have been of such a positive nature that I have been forced to reframe how I regard personal interactions. The honor, privilege, and joy brought to me by knowing people who I would have missed out on meeting if not for my injury, has allowed me to recognize that I am the person who wins by opening myself up to other people. You see, I used to believe that being closed off was a way of protecting oneself from getting hurt. There are a plethora of "dangers," such as being taken advantage of, being disrespected, or treated poorly, that I found safety from by being aloof. Most of these perceived dangers I know are extreme and improbable examples, or do not have as much power as we might believe, if we do not allow them to have power over us.
Then of course there is the elusive and ever so dangerous "what if" which tortures so many of us. "What if" can be a frightening concept in all aspects of life, but with regards to relationships, what if I let somebody in and they use what I share with them against me? What if I open myself up to friendship and my efforts are not returned equitably? What if any number of unpleasant outcomes one can contrive come to pass? There is another side to the "what if" question though, what if I open myself up and discover something of such value it was worth the risk of being hurt? What if…
I have come to learn that in opening myself up to other people, I gain far more than they do. As my life has grown fuller by knowing more people intimately, I have come to realize that with each relationship I am giving myself the opportunity to experience life with deeper fulfillment than I could by remaining hidden behind a self-imposed wall. I have found that in being more open to various people and opportunities, the good things in life seem to expand exponentially. Even if it is just life's simple pleasures, sharing them with people makes them better, and having more people to share simple pleasures with expands the opportunities for those types of delights to come one's way. This might sound like a complicated tangled mess of interlocking events, but that seems to be the point — a life shared is a full life!
Thank you to everyone who has shared the burden of my daily toils and struggles — both profound and petty. Sharing my adventures, simple pleasures, and laughter has enriched each and every experience.