For Display Only

The other day my friend Lindsey, yes, the same Lindsey who is my partner in knitting, and I were joking about how my hands are "For Display Only."  This is the type of joke that is constantly being spouted in my world.  My family and I, and once they get over the initial shock, my friends, have approached the difficulty of my situation with a rather irreverent sense of humor.  There is no changing the fact that my hands just sit there, so why not laugh about it!  Sure, I could stress out over it, but that is a waste of time and energy.  Conversely, I could take the situation extremely seriously and tiptoe around phrases that might offend me and thereby silently ask the same of those around me, but this is even more tedious and depressing than the fact that I cannot move.  The obvious way to live as enjoyably and stress-free as possible is to live as though my not being able to move is a simple fact, and one that can be fodder for an array of comedic material.

I mean, a nail could be chipped if a person had to be troubled with moving one’s hands about all the time!

I am not going to deny that losing one's mobility, and thereby an incredible amount of independence, is extremely inconvenient.  We live in a world with a lot of adaptive technology that can help a person with limited or lost mobility regain independence in a variety of ways.  These technologies, coupled with the fact that if one strives to build a supportive community around them, comprised of people willing and able to help when their arms fall short, allows one to live life in such a way that the loss of mobility becomes relatively insignificant on a day-to-day basis.  That is not to say, that there are not occasions where the reality of being unable to move becomes a trial, and perhaps even crushing for a period of time.  It is in these moments that I take a little time to mourn my frustration, typically with a heavily tear-ridden rant, and then move on using some sort of sarcastic humor.  I mean, a nail could be chipped if a person had to be troubled with moving one’s hands about all the time!

While writing my quip regarding chipped nails, I was reminded of a comment made by one of my nephews just a few days ago.  In overhearing some conversation regarding wheelchair mobility amongst adults, Porter rather proudly asked me if it was sometimes nice sitting all the time.  I wish that I could have told him that it actually is nice, but the harsh reality is that as nice as it might sound from time to time not having to walk, there is never a moment where I am genuinely thankful for being unable to walk.  I might joke that my feet are not hurting from wearing high heels for hours while my companions are complaining about trekking to wherever we are journeying, but if I am being honest, I would take the sore feet in a New York minute.

My choice to make fun of my inability to move with sarcasm and what might be perceived as trite emphasis on consolation prizes, such as avoiding sore feet and chipped nails, is a way of keeping the atmosphere light.  In my opinion it never does much good, if any, to dwell on the unfortunate nature of what is, nor to become overly sensitive to these realities.  It seems like my approach taught my nephew that perhaps it could be nice to never have to walk, and although I could not tell him that his sentiment was true, I would rather his mind work in such a manner that sees the possibilities rather than to perceive the world around him as full of negative trials that are insurmountable.  At the end of the day, I prefer to laugh about being reserved "for display only" than be caught up in mourning over what this sentiment truly means.  Sometimes my display fingers are useful for holding and keeping the wedding rings of my caregivers safe while they are elbows deep in some sort of dirty activity that is beneath my dignity to sully my hands with, such as applying goopy sunscreen to my delicate skin, or handling raw meat.

Taking advantage of a fresh manicure to "display" some of my jewelry.

Even if my breed of humor is not for everyone, I do genuinely believe that it behooves all to laugh and smile as much as possible.  It is a scientific fact that it takes more muscles and energy to frown than it does to smile.  I know from personal experience on those occasions when I am simply determined to be in a foul mood, that ultimately being surly turns out to be an utter and complete waste of energy.  I simply cannot be bothered to waste the time and energy determining if whether or not some comment regarding my lack of mobility is offensive, when I can keep my wit sharp with a jest mocking my own "laziness," which allows me to carry on unperturbed and enjoy whatever I am "doing" or "not doing," as the case may be.